Perspective

Well, yesterday I called to confirm next Thursday's appointment and it was never confirmed...so, no appointment next week. Our new appt. is for 29 September. So, a new date to dread. Today I had 2 kids home sick...fevers and hoarseness, coughs and sore throats. BUT, we had tickets to see Disney on Ice, so...we dragged them. (I'm sure the people around us will unknowingly thank me for that, but I wanted the kids to go and have something fun to think about). We all went. Again, probably our last family outing. David has been giving me the silent treatment the last couple of days and tonight was no exception. I guess it's better than telling me I'm fat and ugly and will never have another man love me...but still, the kids noticed the absence of chit-chat. They didn't even try. So, we got there and the 3 girls sat around/on me and there was a space and Nicholas sat next to his buddy. I think they all enjoyed it. Ashley and Holly were half asleep until Tinkerbell and the new fairies came on...Holly was the perfect 3 year old after that. Clapping at the right moments, waving every time Tinkerbell waved and smiling from ear to ear despite her fever. I loved holding her and watching her amazement. Such innocence. Unfortunately, I looked over and Nicholas was crying due to something David did, not once but twice. I think it was meant to be a tickle that was too hard, but he was mad. At the end, Nicholas just wanted to walk next to me and hold my hand. They all fell asleep in the car and we listened to music...country, of course, which isn't probably the best music to listen to in our situation. On the way it was all breaking up music, on the way home it was all music about being a good husband and father...maybe it made him think...I doubt it. I just silently cried. I think sometimes this is never going to end...and still we push on...I'm sure eventually the hurt will fade...but I don't think that's going to happen for a while.

Funny, I was reading I Corinthians 1:24-31 and realized that he is making himself strong to live a long life...but the Bible says "God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong"...foolish to shame the wise...and realized that he thinks he is strong and wise regarding these matters, when in fact he is truly weak and foolish because he has lost perspective.

Speaking of perspective, many of you may not know that my brother worked at the Pentagon when it was struck by the plane on 9/11. His office was burned out due to the flames from the plane, and he was in it when it hit! I called him today to tell him I love him and I was thinking of him and he told me he has a frame on his current desk that says something to the effect of "don't lose perspective" or "keep your perspective". When he opens it there is a picture of his wife and 2 children on one side and a picture of his office after the plane hit on the other. I told the kids about that day tonight in the car on the way to the show and told them about his picture. David obviously heard to. These are the things I think about...and how could he have lost his perspective? Like I said, he is working out to live a long, healthy life for what? For who? He has lost his focus and is pushing away his family. Where is his perspective?