Six Carat Creations

It's HERE!!!

2012-02-03T09:41:00.000-05:00

Our newest IDEA BOOK is here!

With 8 new My Reflections Scrapbooking Kits and many new accessories, you'll LOVE the beautiful new colors and papers inside!

Just click on the link below to browse the Spring/Summer 2012 Idea book!

https://orders.closetomyheart.com/CTMHConsultants/Marketing/IdeaBooks/SS12.aspx

Stella

Pemberly

Lucy

Victory

Footloose

Superhero

Florentine

Cruisin'

Don't forget our AMAZING
Art Philosophy Cricut Cartridge!

And our February Stamp of the Month! Very versatile and SO cute!

Enjoy browsing the catalog and remember, with a $25 purchase you can get one free from me! Email me or order from my website anytime! Just click below!

https://ldiamond.myctmh.com/Retail/RetailLanding.aspx?PageId=184

If you're thinking about becoming a consultant, this is the beautiful kit you will receive! Contact me for more details at Lbanh5@gmail.com!

Have a GREAT day!

Happy New Year...

2012-01-20T11:03:00.000-05:00

What a great start we had! After Christmas, we went to Ohio to visit my family and after a few days, David and I left the kids with my parents and finally took a honeymoon! 15.5 years, 4 children, 5 deployments and 15 moves later! We spent 4 blissful days in Oahu enjoying the absolutely BEAUTIFUL scenery, snorkeling, swimming, kayaking, hiking and just spending time together! It was amazing! Something we will definitely have to do again...soon! If you have never been, find a way to go! So, this year I set off my resolutions until I got home and back into the swing of things...obviously, you know where I am going with this!
Resolutions:
1. Post to my blog more often!
2. Scrapbook!
3. Paper craft more!
4. Use up my stash!
5. Make more gifts!

Ambitious? Maybe. But with all the wonderful supplies I have and all the new supplies CTMH is going to carry (you should see the new catalog!), I NEED to do this! So... here are a few things I have already made this year.

Birthday gift for Holly's friend: personalized trinket box and matching birthday card

Top View: CTMH paper retired, Olive, Sweet leaf, Cocoa, Sky and Cotton Candy cs, AP Cart-butterflies, swirls, crochet flowers, buttons; (Non-CTMH: Life's a beach Cart, Luau Cart, Storytime cart, Basic Grey-Lemonade paper pack, pearls-Michaels, white wash paint, box- Michaels

Side view of box: CTMH paper-retired, Cotton Candy and Sky cs, AP cart-butterfly, MS edger punch, white wash paint

Card using retired CTMH paper. Cocoa, Cotton Candy, Sky cs, AP Cartridge (Shapes and butterfly), D1482 Love Life, D1475 Card Chatter-Birthday, Inks: sweet leaf and cocoa, white Organdy ribbon; (Non-CTMH) Basic Grey-lemonade paper pad, cuttlebug EF, pearls- Michaels

Gift Bag for gifts from Hawaii: Basic Grey- Lemonade pp, Luau Cart, CTMH Cocoa CS, CTMH retired gems

Birthday card: CTMH: You & Me promotion (retired) pp/ stamp set, Colonial white & Chocolate cs, Olive, Sunflower, Chocolate inks, D1482 Love Life; PTI die-stamp shape


Inside: D1475 Card chatter-birthday (see above for paper/ink)

Hope to chat soon! Have a great day!

Lori

Ashley's Birthday

2011-11-10T13:23:00.000-05:00

I have been wanting to try one of these cards for a while and finally had a moment to do it. The paper is older paper called Sweatheart (from the beginning of the year, but retired). The stamp sets are also from the beginning of the year; butterfly (JSOM) and Dreams come True (D1470). The butterfly was stamped in amethyst ink then black, tulip and cotton candy were sponged onto it. I then spread some irridescent stickles to make it sparkle! Of course I used our new cartridge behind to give it a flower to land on! Love that cartridge! The card was easy to make and Ashley loved it!

Whew, it's been a while!

2011-10-14T16:45:00.000-04:00

So I actually had a card camp a couple weekends ago and these are the cards we made! It was a success and I think everyone learned a thing or two which always makes me happy! Enjoy!

Did you hear us Chirp?

2011-09-02T11:44:00.000-04:00

What an amazing event convention was this year! Held annually in July, convention is the most anticipated event of the year for consultants! Whether you are able to attend or not, everyone is on pins and needles in anticipation of what is to come and boy did they bring out the big guns this year!

Did you hear the CHIRP??? That's right! CTMH has a brand new Cricut Cartridge, called Art Philosophy, that is the end-all, be-all of cartridges! It has EVERYTHING! From basic shapes and scallops, to borders, to doilies, to beautiful embellishments to bags and tags. It even has a beautiful font! Over 700 images on one cartridge! The best part of our new Art Philosophy cartridge is that it coordinates with several of our stamps! When you see the RED outline around a stamp image in the catalog there is a coordinating cut on the cartridge for it! It doesn't get much better than that!

A few other changes to note are the changes to our colors! Nope, we don't have any new colors this time, but they have reorganized them into full groupings so it is easier than ever to order paper! Also, our B/T paper is now cardstock weight! So you can make your beautiful cards and projects with a heavier and sturdier paper! But, the best change of all is...our stamps cost less! Same great quality, new even lower prices! Have you been eyeing those few stamps sets but just couldn't bring yourself to purchase them? Well, they are now even more reasonable! Go for it!

There are several other changes you will find in the catalog, so don't be shy, browse the catolog online or contact me to see how you can get one FREE! lbanh5@gmail.com or visit my website at ctmh.com/ldiamond! Have fun and stay tuned for some exciting new artwork!

Check out our Stamp of the month for September! Our stamp of the month program has changed to make it even easier for you to get it! With only a $50 purchase, you can purchase the SOM for $5!

AND, did you know that September is National Stamping Month? Well, to celebrate, CTMH is offering the first ever double stamp set! You can get the exclusive My Acrylix^® Pair-a-Phrase double stamp set FREE when you place an order of $75 US / $82 CAN from August 15 through September 30, 2011. You'll love this double set—two D-size sets in one envelope—which includes lots of clever phrases and coordinating images you'll use in your handmade cards all year long. The double set has a retail value of $35.90/$39.90, which drastically increases the value of your qualifying purchase! Have double the fun stamping during National Stamping Month with our new Pair-a-Phrase double stamp set!

Have fun shopping! See you soon!

May is National Scrapbooking Month

2011-05-02T12:47:00.001-04:00

National Scrapbooking Month Promotion

You’ll be exclaiming “Ooh!” and “Ahhh!” as you watch the National Scrapbooking Month video, which features the classy You & Me kit. See how the elements of the kit work together to create two beautiful layouts that will have your customers clamoring for several kits!
National Scrapbooking Month CTMH video

Our Constant Campaign for National Scrapbooking Month in May is getting even better. We’re sweetening the deal for new Consultants who join Close To My Heart in May. Now they’ll get 50% off the $129 US / $140 CAN price of their New Consultant kit in addition to one FREE You & Me scrapbooking kit (Close To My Heart’s exclusive National Scrapbooking Month kit)!

Here’s a reminder about the other elements of the National Scrapbooking Month promotion, valid only during May 2011:
Place a minimum order of $50/$55 for any Close To My Heart products*, get an exclusive You & Me scrapbooking kit for just $15/$16.50
Purchase the kit outright for $34.95/$38.95 (no minimum purchase required)
You & Me kit features two fully embellished layouts, each with their own unique personality; a D-size stamp set; and an instruction guide to step you through the creation process.

Video from CTMH

2011-04-12T14:55:00.000-04:00

Check this great VIDEO from CTMH corporate office regarding a fun stamp set in our newest catalog! The stamp set, On this Day, is a fun and versatile stamp set great for cards and layouts.

Hope for Japan

2011-04-11T11:14:00.001-04:00

Hope for Japan
Charitable Fundraiser

From now until April 30, purchase the exclusive, non-commissionable “Hope for Japan” ( click on name to be directed to my website) A-size stamp set for the special price of only $5 (retail value $7.95 US / $8.75 CAN) and Close To My Heart will donate 100% of the profits to the American Red Cross’ efforts in Japan. This beautifully designed stamp set reminds us of how our hearts are hopeful for those who are in need.

January is National Papercrafting Month!

2011-01-15T21:51:00.001-05:00

Hello fellow papercrafters! Did you know that this month is National Papercrafting Month? I didn't either! But, CTMH has an amazing offer this month only! You can check it out here in our January Inspirations Brochure! You'll find our beautiful new Wings paper packs along with several new stamp sets all available for discounted prices if you purchase the Wings Workshop on the Go! Included in the new WOTG kit is a spray pen. You may ask, "what do I do with a spray pen?" Well, CTMH has released this wonderful video teaching you just one of the many ways you can use the new spray pen. Take a look (posted seperately).

Enjoy the video and our new products. I just received out new semi-annual catalogs and they are BEAUTIFUL! Let me know if you would like one! Have a great weekend!

Spray Pen Unplugged

2011-01-15T21:48:00.000-05:00

Happy NEW YEAR!!!

2010-12-31T11:54:00.000-05:00

OK...so my blog has been low on my priority list, but I have been making tons of things to share. I will be sharing a lot more as this New Year progresses! I did a couple of craft fairs this fall and made lots of cards and fun stuff. I will show some of them soon. In the meantime, there are lots of changes, as I have said before, coming to CTMH! First of all, things will be much simpler! Beginning in February, we will go to an new catalog format. There will be 2 catalogs per year, each spanning a 6 month time frame. After the Aug-Jan catolog expires, most stamp sets and paper packs will be retired. So stamps and paper packs will only be active for the 12 month period starting Feb-Jan of the following year. Currently, we have a lot of items being retired as of today, but you can always check my website here to see what products are available and even some discounted ones! You can also check out our January publication here to see the beautiful NEW paper pack and stamps sets for January 2011! There are some HUGE deals and discounts on brand new products, so be sure to check it out! Sales will begin TOMORROW, January 1, 2011! Stay tuned for more exciting news from CTMH! As always, if you would like to purchase a catalog, e-mail me at lbanh5@gmail.com.

Materials: Paper: Passages (X7126B), Stamps: Live Inspired (C1408), Inks: Brown Bag, Cocoa, Bamboo, Accessories: Mocha Opaques, Natural Hemp, edge distresser

Materials: Paper: sorbet, white daisy, Stamps: Intrinsic Backgrounds, Piece of Cake (D1407); Inks: Sorbet, Bamboo, Sky, Lagoon, Pear; Accessories: Pearl Opaques, Just blooms spring, dies, cuttlebug

Have a safe and wonderful NEW YEAR! All the best,

Lori

Changes are coming!

2010-08-05T15:05:00.002-04:00

A TON of changes are occurring at Close to My Heart and here are a few that will be happening over then next few months.

1. Retiring Albums

Effective September 2010 - 9x9 and 6x6 albums will no longer be available. Until then, and while supplies last they are available to order.
Effective September 2010 - the traditional 12x12 linen album will no longer be available. They are being replaced with faux-leather. We will have the new albums in 6 colors and they will actually be less expensive than the linen albums now! Again, these are available now and will continue to be while supplies last. If you've got a matching 'library' going on, you might want to stock up.

2. Retiring Colors/New Colors

Effective September 2010 - the Summer color Pallete has been completely revamped. The following colors are retiring: Orange, Hydrangea, Star Spangled Blue, Clover Meadow, Bubblegum, Citrus Leaf, Ocean and Watermelon.
They have been replaced with new colors: Gypsy, Pacifica, Sunset, Cotton Candy, Lagoon, Pear, Sky and Smoothie
If you love the old colors and already own the inks (or not), you might want to consider stocking up on the coordinating cardstock, reinkers, and/or markers. Again, these are a 'while supplies last' item.
New Colors will not be available until September 1.

3. A new How-To Book

If you've been waiting like I have for a new How-To book to add to your library - in September, you'll be happy.
The new book, called 'Magic' contains patterns by Jeanette Lynton for scrapbook layouts with an 'interactive' appeal.

4. Idea Book Publication Schedule

Beginning in 2011, Close To My Heart is switching to a bi-annual publication schedule, rather than the 3-book launch we have currently.
The Autumn/Winter book will be published September 1, 2010 as expected, and will be valid until February 1, 2011.

5. BIG Changes to Studio J

Have you been wanting to try Studio J, but were scared away by the expense? Studio J membership might be exactly what you need!
Beginning September 2010 - scrapbooking with Studio J will become MUCH more affordable with offers of 12-month, 3-month and 5-pack 'memberships'.
More details of the Studio J membership plans will be announced as we get closer to the launch, but expect to see members-only perks like exclusive kits & patterns, free shipping, free page protectors & free jpeg archive files with varying membership levels.
I can't wait to give you ALL the details!

GOING ON NOW! SALE SALE SALE

$2, $4, $6, for 8...It’s You We Appreciate! Amazing deals at more than 50% off to show our thanks to you!

We are shouting from the rooftops how much we love and appreciate you! It only makes sense to pass along our appreciation with amazing deals. So for 8 days, August 4 through August 11 (while supplies last), you can purchase select My Stickease® Assortments for only $2 US/CAN, My Reflections® Level 1 kits for only $4, and My Reflections® Level 2 paper packets for only $6 online. Click on the “$2, $4, $6, for 8 Sale” link (SALE) to shop these amazing deals for yourself. You’ll want to shout for joy, too!

If you have any questions about anything you've seen here, or would like to schedule a home gathering or workshop or place an order - feel free to contact me at ldiamond@myctmh.com or lbanh5@gmail.com. You can also shop online anytime at http://ldiamond.myctmh.com

Keep it simpler, faster and easier with Close to My Heart! Enjoy creating today!

So MUCH to come!

2010-07-15T20:21:00.000-04:00

I finally went to convention! It was so much fun and I learned a TON of new techniques and ideas. I can't wait to share the newest Idea book with you...but you'll have to wait a little longer! Look for fantastic things to come in our new catalog, exciting new ideas and tips and tricks that will inspire and encourage you even more. Studio J is going through some FANTASTIC changes making digital scrapbooking CHEAPER, Simpler, Faster and Easier. How, you ask? Stay tuned! In the meantime, check out our July Stamp of the month, isn't it cute!

June Stamp of the Month

2010-06-07T11:39:00.001-04:00

Check out the June Stamp of the month! (I used it in my Card Camp for the Father's Day card). So versatile for heritage, masculine and fun cards and pages. I LOVE the argyle and distressed looks of it. Also, don't forget to check out the June Jackpot! Today's items are our fun Dimensional Elements! These chipboard elements are great for pages, papercrafts, cards and smaller albums. They are white so you can use them as is, stamp on them, cover with paper or mixing any of the above! Check out the great savings and the cute stamp set you could win here! Have fun shopping!

On a personal note, it's been crazy lately...two trips within a week! The first was to celebrate my two nephews graduations from High School. We are so proud of both of them and were so glad to be able to be there for their special days. The second was to Hershey,PA with the Girl Scouts for Camp-o-ree! Tons of fun camping in the rain, but glad to be back in the COOL, dry air of home sweet home. Now, we're heading into summer (still have 14 days of school left uugh!). Can't wait for some lazy days by the pool! I've decided to try for a 30 day challenge food-wise cutting grains and sweets. It's gonna be hard, but I'm ready for the challenge. Along with the cross-fit training and starting to prep for the marathon in October, should be great! Wish me luck!

2010-06-04T11:43:00.000-04:00

Hit the jackpot and win free products OR grab loaded goddie boxes at 50% off or more. Enjoy two types of deal days in June!

On goodie box days... you can purchase one box filled with popular prodcuts at 50% or more off retail value! Each goodie box day will feature different surprise items, so you can score a wide variety of current and recently retired products.

On jackpot days... 5 products will be offered for sale at discounted prices. One of the 5 products is the mystery jackpot item for that day, but we're not telling which-exciting, isn't it! If you happen to order the mystery jackpot item, we'll reward you with one or more FREE Close To My Heart products, with shipping included on the free items! If you purchase all 5 products, you're guaranteed to hit the jackpot! There's no purchase limit-if you order multiple secret jackpot items, we'll send you the same number of free items.

These special offers include discounted shipping/handling and are only available on my Close To My Heart Website. Check back every day for the latest offer.

* Offer valid June 1-July 1 at 8:00am (MDT), on MyCTMH websites only. New deals are posted each day at 9:00am (MDT). To be eligible for discounted prices, your order must contain only Jackpost June items. Visit facebook.com/closetomyheart or closetomyheart.com to see what the mystery jackpot item was for the previous day. Offers are while supplies last.

FAQ

How many free items can I earn?
If you purchase multiple quantities of the Jackpot item, you'll receive multiple products FREE. So, buy as many as you'd like of each item—there's no limit—and you could be a big winner!

What is in a goodie box and how much are they?
The Goodie Box contents will vary by day (we're not revealing specifics but you'll be thrilled!) and will include favorite current and retired stamp sets, paper packets, embellishments, and other great scrapbooking, stamping, and cardmaking items.

We have made every effort to differentiate the Goodie Box offerings by date so you can purchase boxes on different dates and receive a wide variety of products. The prices of the boxes will vary but each will be at least 50% off retail value. The higher the box price, the greater your savings from the original retail value. We're also offering discounted shipping.

On Jackpot days, how will I know which discounted product is the Jackpot item?

You won't know—that's what makes this campaign so much fun! You won’t know until the following day, after the opportunity to place an order has passed. Simply visit www.facebook.com/closetomyheart or www.closetomyheart.com to see what the Jackpot item was for the previous day.

How do I know what the FREE item will be on Jackpot days?

The free item(s) will be featured on the Jackpot June shopping page, alongside the 5 discounted products.

What is in the Goodie Boxes?

If we told you it would spoil the fun! However, we can tell you each box will be filled with popular current or recently retired products, and we have made every effort to vary the box contents by date. This means you can buy boxes on each of the days they're available and stock up on a wide variety of favorite products at unbelievable deals!

Where can I see the Jackpot June items?

Images of the daily deals can be found on the day they're offered on a special page on MyCTMH® online shopping sites. Look for the Jackpot June link to see that day's deal. You won't find an image of what's inside the Goodie Boxes—it's supposed to be a surprise!

Workout journal

2010-05-20T12:14:00.002-04:00

I decided it would be nice to have a workout journal to record my workouts and to see if/how I have progressed. When you do something like Cross-fit, a constantly changing and varying workout, it's easy to lose track of what you've accomplished and where you want to go without recording it. CTMH began carrying these wonderful journals with a 7"x5" pocket on the front cover in which you slide your creation/decorative front and it remains protected. Genius! So, I decided to use it as my record keeper for workouts. The stamp set, Be Yourself (D1349) is one of my favorites and perfect for this use. CTMH TV has a wonderful episode that teaches "Overstamping" the technique I used for this journal. Enjoy!

I also wanted to share another card with you. Just a cute little card I whipped up using another one of my favorite stamp sets, Free Spirit (D1217).

Open House tomorrow, Card Camp Next Sunday!

2010-05-15T23:00:00.001-04:00

Well, I'm just about ready for my Summer Idea Book Open House tomorrow! Should be so much fun! The Miracle Kit is so beautiful in person and I loved making the pages for it and several cards and little extras. I will take a pic tomorrow to show off all the cute creations from one kit!

Here are the cards we will be making next Sunday at my Card Camp!

For $10, campers will make 8 cards: 2- Teacher Thank you's, 2-Father's Day, 2-Anything (using May SOM) and 2-Happy Day!

What do you think? Lots of cute paper and fun stamps! Have a great weekend!

National Scrapbooking month!

2010-04-29T17:27:00.000-04:00

Close to my Heart is celebrating National Scrapbooking Month with a beautiful new kit. You can purchase the kit outright for $19.95, or with the purchase of $40 purchase the kit for $10 or with a $60 order get it for $5.

New things to come!

2010-04-27T12:43:00.000-04:00

I am in the process of planning an Open House for the Summer Catalog. I am also planning a card camp the following Saturday! I'm so excited to be doing both and am busy working on displays for both to please check back for sneak peeks of artwork! Tracey, my sister-in-law and fellow CTMH Consultant and I are also making plans for a School Day's Scrapbook Workshop that will produce an album with 28 finished pages and includes True-fit Folio pockets (to hold artwork and report cards), and pocket pages for up to 12 snapshots! It will be a wonderful workshop to focus all our memorabilia and school photos in one album! I'm so excited about all these new activities so watch for new posting with sneak peeks to come!

One of a kind

2010-04-15T07:54:00.001-04:00

This is based on the Mojo Monday sketch from last week. Thought I'd pull out some older stamps. I think she turned out cute!

On a side note, we are off to Newport, RI and Boston for a fun weekend with the kids and to watch David run in the Boston Marathon on Monday! We're so excited to be back there and can't wait to see the race! Have a great weekend!

Supplies: Silhouette Paper Pack, Bubblegum CS, Colonial White CS, Stamps: Tickled Pink (Promo last year), Be Yourself, March SOM; Ink: bubblegum, Black, Desert Sand; Accessories; Just blooms, pop dots, Black Ribbon rounds, Sparkles, EK success edger.

New week, new challenge...

2010-04-12T12:03:00.002-04:00

Terms of the Heart 2 Heart challenge...
This is a 1/2/3 challenge. Here are the requirements:

*Use 1 stamped image (not 1 set, but 1 image)
*Use 2 different patterned papers
*Use 3 embellishments - these can be 3 of the same thing or 3 different things

I wanted to make a simple card that could be used as a sympathy card. I decided to pull the purple from the bella paper and highlight it with this stamp. It is actually stamped on the paper, stamped on a separate paper and popped up so there is more dimension than you see. I used ribbon as a feminine touch and then used bigger brads fed through button holes in the bottom right corner. I wish I had some pansy purple accessories that I could use in that corner, but alas, that color somehow as eluded my collection, so I chose to blend rather than highlight. I've included a couple of close ups and a picture of the inside. (Sorry the inside is a little blurry.)

Card size: 8" x 3 1/2:, Originals pattern: Puzzle Backdrop (p 91)

Products all CTMH (unless otherwise noted): Paper: Colonial White CS, Pansy Purple CS, Bella B/T; Stamps: Treasure Life (d1306), TLC (c1364) Verve plain jane (inside); Ink: Petal, Pansy Purple, Cocoa, Colonial White ; Accessories: summer buttons, Chocolate bigger brads, Olive organdy ribbon: Other; Sewing Machine, pop dots, bone folder for scoring lines, Ek success edge punch.

Heart 2 Heart challenge

2010-04-06T14:25:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was the first Heart 2 Heart Challenge for CTMH consultants! What fun. Here is my entry for the challenge. I simply opened my Originals book and whatever page it opened to was the card I made. Then I randomly reached in my stamp storage and picked up a stamp set and it happened to be this cute one! The colors are Sunflower, Sweet leaf and Chocolate. Enjoy!

Supplies: CS: White Daisy, Chocolate, Garden green, Cranberry (tongue); B/T Bella; Stamps: Fun Times (B1309); Ink: Sunflower, Sweet Leaf, Chocolate; Accessories: Button, chocolate Waxy Flax, Sweet Leaf Ribbon, Cuttlebug EF (swiss dots), SU ticket punch.

Close to my heart

2010-03-23T10:05:00.002-04:00

I have a website again with Close to my Heart! I decided it would be a lot easier for my customers to buy the wonderful CTMH products any time they wanted, so please check it out!

I haven't posted in a while and actually haven't made a ton of stuff... it only took 2 months to fall off the bandwagon (hee,hee). BUT, I'm back. I have a couple of things to show you today. The first is a card I made for David's Birthday. Since it is so close to St. Patrick's Day (and he LOVES St. Patrick's Day), I kind of combined the two. I tried a new card style and LOVE it!

Products used: CS: cocoa textured, Sweet leaf, colonial white; B/T: Emporium Level II; Stamps: So Lucky (C1390), A Little Everything (March SOM, D1408); Ink: Cocoa, Sweet Leaf, Hollyhock; Accessories: Just Blooms white daisy variety pack (z1300), Cocoa Organdy Ribbon (retired), Olive photo hangers (retired), Pearls-recollections.

Products used: CS: Cocoa-textured, White Daisy, Sweet Leaf; Stamps: Aspiration (flowers-C1340), TLC (sentiment inside-c1364), Curly Greetings (retired); Inks: Sorbet, Tulip, Creme Brulee; Accessories: Organdy ribbon (retired), Edge Punch (EK success), MS butterfly punch, corner rounder

Valentines and time...

2010-02-03T09:25:00.005-05:00

Here are a few of the other cards I made. The baby card uses a stamp set I love from Verve called "Beautiful You". A very versatile stamp set. I CASE'd the card from their gallery on the website.

Products used all CTMH unless otherwise indicated: Paper: Sunny Yellow Texture, Thank Heaven -Tapestry by CR Gibson; Stamps: Beautiful You-Verve; Inks: Spring Iris, Accessories: Spring buttons, sewing machine, White Daisy waxy flax.

The Next several card are 4 x 4 valentines using 3 pieces of 4 x 4 patterned paper cut 1/3 x 2/3 and then using scraps to make the rest of the card. I LOVE this paper pack called "That's Amore" that CTMH released last spring. Unfortunately, the stamp set I used the most is retired, but it's one of my favorite CTMH Valentine stamp sets. Called "In my Heart". These were a lot of fun to make and quick! (SHH, they are for my kids). Yes, I only have 4, but I had fun making 6!

Products used all CTMH unless otherwise indicated: Paper: Colonial White, Tulip, Blush, That's Amore PP; Stamps: In my heart (retired), All my love; Ink: Chocolate, Blush; Accessories: Shades of Chocolate Mini-Medley (retired), Cricut-George and basic Shapes, MS paper edger, EK Success paper edger, The Paper Studio paper Edger.

This last card is a birthday card for my oldest brother. He is one of the nicest people you'll ever meet and he does so much for others. I hope he likes it and it reminds him to take a little time for himself! It is from last weeks Mojo Monday #123.

Products used all CTMH unless otherwise indicated: Paper: Colonial white cs, Cocoa cs, Felicity PP (Jan promo), Stamps: Make it count, True Friends, Inks: Cocoa; Accessories: Cocoa organdy ribbon, window charms-circles.

Been busy!

2010-02-02T12:06:00.006-05:00

The first two cards are my take from the sketch on Clean and Simple FTL #76. The first card uses only CTMH supplies, while the second uses very few. I love Basic Grey's line of paper and accessories... especially because the print is smaller (suitable for cards!). The one with butterflies is a birthday card for my sister, Amy. I showed a close up so you can see what I did with the butterflies. I love that type of shadowing!

The kids had a 4 day weekend this past weekend and we decided to break out the seed beads and make some new hair accessories! In the process we made a few Valentine decorations for the window that were inspired by this. We ran out of beads so this weekend we'll finish up and I'll show you what they look like hanging! Ashley and Holly weren't so interested in making the hairpins, but they love wearing them. Bethany is old enough now that she tried her hand at the beads and I think she liked how quick and easy it was! We made friendship bracelets and I made some cards. I'll post some more tomorrow, but for today, here are a few of our creations!

A few more cards...

2010-01-24T12:01:00.006-05:00

that I made this week. This first one is based on a sketch by Clean and Simple. I'm really liking this idea. Pretty card with not a lot of fuss!

Products all CTMH: CS: Textured white daisy and Hollyhock, Inks: Chocolate, Hollyhock, Stamps: Aspiration, Accessories: chocolate watercolor pencil.

This is another take on Mojo Monday. I like to cut out two of everything when I make a card. That way I can make a couple different cards with the same sketch/idea. With this one, I simply flipped 2 of the pieces over and made a different looking card. (Gotta love that about CTMH papers... They are 2 sided!) The bird is the stamp that is included in this months promotion of Felicity. (see side bar or go to CTMH website, or better yet, call me!) I inked it with Barn Red, used my sponge dauber to take away some of the ink to add shading then stamped it and embossed it with irridescent embossing powder! Love that effect!

This is the inside...

Products all CTMH: CS Colonial White, B/T paper: Felicity (Jan promotion), Inks: Chocolate, Barn Red, Stamps: Felicity (Jan promotion), Card Chatter-thanks, Accessories: Colonial white organdy ribbon, Chocolate watercolor pencil, EK Success corner rounder, MS border punch.

This next card was for my nephew this weekend. He was in the pinewood derby and won first place in his troop and second place in his ??? next step above a troop. (We will be in boy scouts soon so I'll learn more about it then). He advanced to districts. Way to go Cody!
I made this card using my new cricut I got from my sisters and brother for Christmas! The car is from Cars (obviously) and was a little more work than I thought, but I wanted to add shading and highlights to give it a little more dimension. I think it turned out pretty cute. The exhaust is from a Stamp of the month we had last fall. (I hope we get it in our new catalog...so cute).

The inside of this one...not very creative, but it's a cute saying!

Products all CTMH except where noted: CS: Holiday Red, White Daisy, Sunny Yellow, Black, Spring Iris, Card Base (unknown), Inks: Black, Hydrangea, Stamps: Say it in Style, Boys at play, Around the Block (Nov SOM), Accessories: Cricut -Cars, sanding block, cranberry marker, Signo white gel pen, Copic C1

Hearts and Angels

2010-01-21T13:39:00.005-05:00

Here is my offering for this weeks sketch Mojo #122. I decided to spotlight the Felicity collection by CTMH because at the end of this month, it will no longer be available. SO, get it while you can! I love this collection because there are masculine and feminine papers and it's very versatile. I will showcase some more of these with my next post. In the meantime, enjoy! I also used one of my new favorite stamp sets, Angel sent. I have been wanting this set for a while and now that A-sized stamps have gone down in price ($7.95) I decided to splurge a little extra this month! Don't you love her?

I'm so excited this week because my Craft room is finally organized and put together. I need to get some shelves up (and paint...but that's later), but I can create and everything is organized! I love it!

All products CTMH unless otherwise noted: Paper: Barn Red CS, Colonial White CS, Felicity Paper Pack, INKS: Barn Red, Sorbet, Chocolate; STAMPS: Angel Sent, Felicity, In my Heart (retired I think); ACCESSORIES: Colonial White Organdy Ribbon (retired), Watercolor pencils, Summer Posies, Waterbrush, EK success corner punch (Scallop), Unknown heart punch (old), Fruit Punch Stickles.

Getting my MOJO

2010-01-13T13:47:00.004-05:00

As a birthday/Christmas present last year, my little brother, and 2 sisters got me a Cricut. I was so excited to have one and had even purchased the Tinkerbell cartridge (on sale at Walmart for $15) last fall in hopes that I would get one soon! Well, I got one and I LOVE IT! So, my little brother told me I had to use it for his birthday card...here is the result. I used theMojo Monday sketch (121) as inspiration. I made the resolution to, at the very least, make the Mojo Monday sketch every week. This is week 2 and I am doing good so far! Hope you enjoy it!

Products (all CTMH unless otherwise noted):CS: Outdoor Denim, Indian Corn Blue, New England Ivy, Barn Red CS; Back Country paper pack, Autumn Terracotta patterned paper (retired); NEI brads; Cricut-Basic shapes; Cuttlebug EF; CTMH chalks; Stickles-Gold; Fibers-unknown

This was last weeks sketch (and was completed last week)!
Products (all CTMH unless otherwise noted): Paper Daydream, white daisy CS; Stamps: Treasures (Sept '09 SOM), Ink: Flower, Black; Martha Stewart Punch; Gemstones-paper studio; Pink baubles-Michaels; White Daisy Ribbon

My scraproom is starting to come together. I'm so excited to have my Original Scrapbox finally up and put together (mostly). Once it's organized completely, I will be in paper crafting heaven! I love it! I'll post pics when I get it completely done!

GREAT start!

2010-01-06T09:21:00.003-05:00

Well, we are off to a great start! In a new home (again), the kids seem to enjoy their new school... they adjust well anyway, and the house is coming together. We have some really nice neighbors and friends who already live nearby!

As far as CTMH, I'm an active consultant again and I hope to start a card workshop once a month (at least) from my house. I'll see if anyone in the neighborhood is interested. CTMH has come out with this fantastic package for card and scrapbooking workshops that makes it easier for the consultants and customers alike! I can't wait to get my package to prepare for some workshops! I hope I can get a fresh start with it. I love cardmaking and scrapbooking! The best news is that I'm already signed up for CTMH convention which will be in July and only 25 minutes from our house! So look for new crafting stuff to come shortly! After my craft room is complete, it should be easy and fun to create! I finally have a space of my own!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and a fantastic start to their new year! Happy 2010!

Exactly!

2009-08-10T21:02:00.004-04:00

While perusing a couple of CTMH blogs, I came across this blog that had some really fun artwork. As I was reading there was a widget on the side that said "praying for stellan", so, of course I went to it to see what was wrong with this precious little baby pictured in the widget. Her latest entry was talking about finding 4 leaf clovers...and then she said this. I have heard it said in so many different ways, and even thought it myself, but I love the way she stated it and thought I would share it with you...

"Perhaps having a good life, one that we are satisfied or joyful in, is not measured by how much subjective good there actually is in our lives, but simply in if we look for satisfaction and joy.

For example, when I am full of a spirit of restoration and love, I can choose to look at my husband and see the good in him. I can focus my attention on the things I love about my husband and put blinders up to the small, irritating things that might otherwise irk me.

The converse is true, too. When I am feeling self-righteous and negative, I can look at that same husband and choose to see only his flaws. When I let his flaws fester in my mind, they seem to grow bigger and more irritating. The good that is in my husband is shoved to the side as I am first unwilling and, later, in fact unable to see it in him.

Nothing about my husband himself changed in these two scenarios. The difference was just in my outlook, in what I searched for."

Well SAID!

The more things change...

2009-08-04T22:16:00.013-04:00

the more I think David may actually be right...maybe I really DO have some grey hair? Naw...not yet. But things certainly are changing! We went home to Ohio for a much needed break. Well... it started out a little that way. The first full day there we went to my sisters house in Doylestown where we had a great day with all the Ohio cousins playing baseball/softball (depending on gender)...just imagine, 11 kids ranging from 17 to 4 playing a game of pick-up ball... No tantrums, no fighting, just a fun, relaxing afternoon in the cool 60 degree weather playing an all american sport...life just doesn't get any better than that! Then we went back to my sisters house to have BBQ ribs and cheesy potatoes and brownies...YUM! Perfect! Then outside to collect fireflies and play in the dark...oh I remember being the little one! The next day was the 4th and we went to Blossom Music Center to watch the Cleveland Orchestra play their salute to America and the fireworks afterward. I LOVE outdoor arenas and Blossom brings back so many memories! I haven't been there in years and it was a great way to relax and celebrate the 4th...picnics, family and friends...so much fun! We celebrated Bethany's 11th Birthday the following Monday...can you believe I have an 11 year old? I can't!

Anyway, next day we went back to Doylestown to see my nieces play the last softball game of their travel season! What a great way for my girls to see how the big girls play! Not only did we have fun watching the game, but we had a great time playing with cousins and enjoying the brisk cool NE Ohio air! My kids have never seen so many fireflies (or giant attack mosquitoes) as they did in Doylestown. In Tennessee, we're lucky to catch maybe 3 or 4, but in Ohio they caught so many that they started speading the "light" parts on their faces like war paint to glow in the dark...poor little bugs. I wonder what their lifespan is anyway? With my kids, it is about 5 seconds!

Next, we visited the McKinley Museum and explored with the dinosaurs, learned about rock layers and fossils, discovered native animals of Ohio and even a little about space! Went on a museum scavenger hunt (in my opinion, all museums should have this wonderful learning tool! They equip the kids with pencils and clipboards and have them fill in age appropriate information about different exhibits...matching for the little ones, fill in the blanks for the big ones) and then went upstairs to learn about a distant relative of ours, William McKinley the 25th president. Of course, my 16 year old niece had to play the part of the blond and ask, "who is that" as the talking mannequin began his speech about his life in the white house and how he got there. I just had to look at her and let in sink in a little before she realized WHERE we were and put 2 and 2 together. Yes, it was the blond leading the blond, but I think I'm actually more brunette now! Pretty funny though. Then we climbed the stairs to look at the Memorial and slide back down the "rails". (Actually, I walked, they slid)

Unfortunately, things took a turn with my dear mother-in-law and I thankfully went up to Geneva to take care of her and give my sisters-in-law a little break. I am so grateful for those 3 days! I learned so much about my mother-in-law. She lived an amazing life, endured with such grace and strength and loved so unconditionally...one can only emulate her. I enjoyed the time, realizing all too well that it was more and more limited. After those few days, David's sister return to care for her and David was on his way in two days to see her because her condition had become grave. We all were there on Friday for the weekend and on Monday, July 20, my mother-in-law was escorted to heaven by my father-in-law. She said he was with her and she peacefully went away with him. It all happened so quickly that none of us were/are prepared for it. 9 days after her discharge from the hospital she was gone. We all had some beautiful moments, some very funny moments and of course, some very sorrowful moments. Once again I'm reminded how precious life is and how quickly things change...

I took this picture when most of David's siblings were gathered around her reading a poem she loved. She was starting to relax after being restless and the moment was too beautiful not to capture. This period in time was not a time to carry the camera around, but while watching this moment, I couldn't resist taking this shot...pretty amazing!

Later that week, David's family had calling hours and a beautiful funeral. It was amazing to see their family's strength and weakness all at the same time, but it was more amazing to see my children during the process. Even Nicholas understood what had happened and I really had a hard time keeping my composure after he completely broke down at the funeral. We have some pretty terrific, very loving and very sensitive kids to truly know and understand this life changing situation. I can not imagine having to suffer the loss of my grandparents at such a young age and to know what it means. They understood completely and displayed such love, loss and grace.

Before we returned to Clarksville, we went down to Amish country to show the kids an amazingly different kind of life. While driving down there we passed this tree...

We had to stop and look at it. The owner of the house happened to be standing outside and I asked him about the tree. He said it was getting too overgrown and he knew he needed to cut it down, but he wanted to do something special with it. He was the former principal of the high school located right behind this house and knew one of the teachers at the school loved to carve wood. So he asked him what he could do with it and the teacher simply replied, "we could have a lot of fun". He cut the tree down to this point and the teacher started on a Wednesday afternoon and finished on the following Saturday afternoon. It is truly a work of art.

these are just a few of the images of the tree. It was pretty amazing!

Beautiful Ohio!

Speaking of things changing, we are moving...again. This time to Ft. Belvoir, VA for who knows how long. NO, our house has not sold, so some extra prayers for us in that area would be GREAT! We figured it would be better for us to be together and paying two rents, than being apart and paying two rents. So... if you know anyone who wants to buy or rent a house in Clarksville, I highly recommend ours! We have an awesome neighborhood and great friends here...(yes, shameless plug!)

Well, that's our last month or so...busy, full and never a dull moment.

Going home

2009-07-01T02:01:00.002-04:00

Well, we are headed home for a couple of weeks... life is amazing! I have no idea where we'll be 2 months from now but somehow we will be fine. I'm in for a lot of hard work, a lot of long days and a lot of changes but life has a way of doing that. I still have hope, I still have dreams and I still have faith that God will help me find the right path to take. I just wish everything didn't have to be so hard. So for now I'm going back to my roots and hopefully things will fall into place, one way or another.

About me Book

2009-06-04T15:11:00.006-04:00

I made this book for my nephew (a very late birthday present) to record his 8th year of life! He is a wonderful writer so I left a lot of space for him to write about his feelings at this age as well as life in general. Most of the products I used are from CTMH except for a few number and letter stickers. The layout design was duplicated from CTMH's simply snapshots. I also used CTMH's wonderful About Me Stickease Journaling Prompts. I think it was a hit with him.

Supplies: (All CTMH except where indicated) Inks: Archival Black, Cranberry, Grey Wool; Stamps: Journaling Jots, Make it Count, numerous alphabet stamps; Paper:Holiday Red B&T, Bamboo cs, Black cs, Grey Wool cs, Game On Level 2; letter stickers (unknown, from stash) and MM Slice (for letter and number cut outs and other paper detail cut outs), book-Making Memories

Mojo, Spike and Fuzzy

2009-05-07T14:55:00.004-04:00

Well, yesterday was a fun day! While I was out running, I found this cute little 1/2 dollar sized turtle on the road. It's brother/sister had already met it's maker. So, I decided it would be fun to save this one and let the kids see it before we released it. (And we did, through many protests and pleadings to keep it, Spike is happy in our neighborhood lake!) So here are a few pics of the girls with Spike. (Nicholas didn't really care too much about him.)

As I mentioned in my previous post, there are several blogs that have card sketches that I love. One of them is Mojo Monday. Here is a card from this weeks sketch!

Materials: (All CTMH unless specified) White Daisy, Olive CS; It's a Guy Thing paper pack; Cocoa ink, Promotional stamp set (unavailable), yarn (unknown), stamp scissors (Fiskars), liquid applique, prisma glitter (on frosting), cranberry brad.

(As you can see, I'm still trying to learn a few things about the blogging world.)

Time to start again

2009-05-03T00:05:00.006-04:00

Well, I haven't posted in a while and the reason I started this blog was to share my creativity with anyone interested. Well, it's time to get back to that. I have a ton of stuff in my scrap area waiting to be cut into, stamped and distressed and I haven't touched it in a while. So, I think it's about time to get back to it. My marathon is over, my house is always in need to a good cleaning, but it hasn't even been looked at in a few weeks, so whatever, right? It's time I do what I love and enjoy creating again. So, hopefully my next post will be soon and you'll be able to see some new creativity flowing. There are a couple of card sketch websites I love and I want to share with you. So I will create, post and share. Time to get some normalcy back! For anyone reading this, thanks for checking back. See you soon!

Check out this blog candy!

2009-04-28T20:08:00.001-04:00

For those of you who don't craft, blog candy is what some people offer to individuals who look at their blog often. It is generally given to entice people back because they love to share their talent. This particular candy is huge for those in the crafting world. Enjoy her blog! Hopefully I can start posting more often now. Life is starting to kind of settle down. Garage sale is over, 1/2 marathon is done (I am very happy with my results... 2:10:45) and the only thing left is ballet recital, baseball, and sell the house and move. Nothing too small, but doable! (check back in a week and see if I still feel that way!) So, crafting, here I come.

Anyway,

http://passionforcrafts.blogspot.com/2009/04/blogoversary-candy.html

....So here's what you could win!

Set A (36) Copic Ciao Markers (I got this set because it's a good starter and includes skin shades) Nestabilities (5) Sets: Labels 2, Labels 3, Labels 4, Classic heart and Scalloped Classic heart.
Martha Stewart Floral Lace border punch.
Miss Anya Stamp set by The Greeting Farm.
2 6x6" pads of the latest releases from Basic Grey Lime Rickey and Wisteria.
100 Flowers.
20 x 1 metre lengths of assorted ribbons
25 Flower Buttons.

First showing

2009-03-09T00:38:00.002-04:00

Well, we had our first showing on Friday. My neighbor spied on our house for me and told me they were here for about 40-50 minutes...I think that's good! At least they made it in the door and wanted to see more! I'm not sure how they felt about Holly's beautiful Tinkerbell room. My realtor told me not to paint it just yet...maybe someone will like it. We'll see. I'm sure I'll be painting it before long though. I do love it!

It brought to light a few concerns I haven't taken time to truly consider. IF we do sell before I need to, where are we going to live? I've thought about it, but haven't really taken it into consideration or truly looked for a place to rent in the meantime. Also, how am I going to discuss it with D? Doesn't that stuff usually happen rather quickly? They offer, we counter if necessary, they...Will I have time to email and wait for a response? Anyone know? Help me with that one. I guess I should talk to my realtor too!

So, life here is loads of fun. The kids are getting used to military rule in the house. They'll be ready to have their beds checked with quarters pretty soon. Every call on the weekend is the "is it her" call now. Not really fun trying to keep the house clean while relaxing...but it must be done.

Nicholas had a kindergarten performance on Tuesday last week...Oh my gosh was it ever cute! He is such a ham...dancing like John Travolta, singing his math song. There are definitely some drama kings and queens in his class! The parents couldn't stop laughing as some of the kids just let it all out! Maybe I should have enrolled him in dance also? Naw, I think baseball will be a lot more fun to watch.

Bethany had a science fair project due tomorrow. When did she begin? Well, she worked on some of it (writing part) this week, started the experiment on Friday and put it all together today...of course I told her I would not help her if she waited until the last minute...alas, she did. I did offer to type and cut out a couple of things, but it frustrates me so much when she waits to start the major portion. Not good. I think it turned out pretty cute...I'll have to take a couple of pictures to show you. She is very proud of her project.

Ashley is doing well, loving dance and still reading a ton. She finishes her books so fast she needs to visit the library every other day practically. She is starting to hit a little bit of a growth spurt again and getting into her size/age clothes again. She is still a little on the small side...she gets that from me...poor girl.

Holly is my little stinker. Boy is she giving me a run for my money lately. She keeps me on my toes with household cleaners and paints, but she is just looking for that creative outlet...on the carpets, walls and doors. Now I need to show her where she CAN paint and clean! She is getting so big, she's outgrowing her age/size clothes. She also LOVES dance and her teachers keep telling me of her "natural" talent. I ask if they mean the DRAMA part...they laugh. I am not kidding!! :) She's so much fun though. We are going to have a tea party tomorrow (we tried on Friday, but had to leave the house for the showing, so it never happened). Yummy tea with milk and lemon cookies! She wants to have all her friends (dolls) be a part of it. I can't wait!

So that is us in a nutshell right now. Keep your prayers up for our house, family and move! Please also say a prayer for my mom who is still fighting a staph infection in her knee, and David's mom for her Cancer. It's been a tough start of the year for both of them. Thanks again...and Happy Spring!

Finally done

2009-02-27T20:23:00.003-05:00

Well, it's finally done. I still have a lot of work to do, but my house is actually on the market. Now we'll see if we can actually keep it clean! I have to go through a few things and organize a lot more. I've kind of fallen off the bandwagon, and now I have to get back on and fast! If any of you have any pointers, I'd appreciate all input. It looks like the kids and I are going to be finding as many activities OUTSIDE of the home as possible so it can stay clean. I just hope the weather cooperates! Anyway...the sign's in the yard...so please pray it sells (just not too quickly!).

Crazy week

2009-02-15T20:25:00.002-05:00

What a crazy week this has been. It started with Holly having the stomach flu for 5 days. She was beginning to feel better Monday but I kept her home. As it turns out, Monday at her school, an older woman (grandma) pulled up in the handicapped parking space in front of the playground her class plays on and drove under/through the fence and hit the slide off the playset and stopped just short of the glass windows to the parish hall. Just minutes before they had gotten the kids off the playground and several people were still standing outside (it was a beautiful day) talking and taking their time getting their kids to their cars. It was a very traumatic event for alot of moms, teachers and the preschool director. The woman was fine, just shaken up as were many people that day. Amazingly, no one was hurt.

Wednesday I lost my cell phone at the commissary. Normally I would say this isn't a big deal because I don't particularly like having it all the time, but when David is gone, it is the only way for the schools to communicate with a parent when I'm not home so I am much better about having it and turning it on when he is not home. Fortunately it was found 2 days later...no problems.

Thursday, a certain female child decided to turn on the shower and "wait for it to get hot". 10 minutes later, I heard a flood of water in the ceiling in the kitchen and suddenly water flowed from the light fixture and seams between the sheetrock...I ran up the stairs pushed the curtain in the tub, turned off the water and started grabbing anything that could soak up water to dry up the floor...now I have to repair and paint the ceiling in the kitchen before I try to sell our house...soon.

Friday am, same female child decided she wanted ramen for lunch. She put it in my pampered chef microwave cooker and cooked it for 3 minutes...without water. Needless to say I need to get a new micro cooker and our house smelled awful all day! Even with open windows and fans on.

Saturday a couple more things happened that I can't even post and needless to say, I have had a WEEK! Thank GOD it is over and we can start fresh. Don't you love waking up in the morning knowing that a new day has arrived and it will hopefully be better than the day before?

Well, now that I have new work ahead of me and one less day to do it (ie children have no school) I will be planning a preparing a little more.

BTW, I am trying to train for a 1/2 marathon in April down in Nashville. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. I am 10 weeks away, running 3-4 times per week and am running about 4-5 miles each now. I am also attempting to do cross-fit still, but it is harder to come up with my workouts. It's all good though...hee, hee.

Well, it is time to get the kids ready for bed, but I decided to share a peek into my world lately. Trying to get a house ready to be put on the market, raising 4 kids, ballet/baseball, and training for a marathon... I guess my life is a marathon at the moment. Wish me luck!

Meet Riley

2009-01-11T18:24:00.003-05:00

Our newest addition to our clan. We just hated coming home to emptiness. He's so much fun...

Happy Discovery

2009-01-11T15:35:00.002-05:00

OK, I typed too quickly...as I loaded my printer driver onto the computer, I happened to glance down at it and realized that it, too has memory card slots....YEAH!!! I remember thinking when I bought it that I would never have any reason to use it...well, now I do! It works perfectly with the computer and I uploaded my Christmas pictures so easily. Don't you just LOVE when that happens. So far, I can't find anything wrong with this computer...everything is easier! Gotta love that. It just WORKS! 5 stars for Apple!

New Year, New beginnings

2009-01-10T21:36:00.002-05:00

First, I have to tell you all that we got a new computer...a Mac, and I am still working through the differences. I have a lot to learn and one of the first things I have to figure out is how I'm going to upload pictures. My old computer had a slot for memory cards and it was extremely convenient to upload pictures, but this does not. Sooo...I have to find the cords for my cameras and hope they work. I hope once I get some pictures on, it will be easy (everyone says it is) but in the meantime, I can only type.

I have decided that this year is a year of hope for all of us. It started off OK, but I think it is going to be a lot better than last year. Things are improving on the home front and the kids are getting excited to move. We are going to move to Virginia this summer or after our house sells, which ever comes first. I'm sure many of you who know me know that this is a change from our previous plans. We are working on things and they are improving.

Thanks to all of you who have supported me and my family through the tough times we've been through...life isn't perfect yet, but we are on the right path.

Happy New Year!!!

2009-01-01T14:10:00.003-05:00

I hope anyone who might actually still check here has a wonderful New Year! We all had a good holiday and are enjoying our many gifts...especially the time we are having together. God Bless you all in this new year and may it be better than last...

In Memoriam

2008-12-10T11:55:00.002-05:00

Today, our sweet little puppy dog, Rudder, went to heaven. He has been the best dog our family could ever ask for...well behaved, fun, playful and full of love. We will miss him tremendously.

Holiday time

2008-12-04T00:09:00.002-05:00

Well, it is typically a very happy and busy time of the year for us and this year it is definitely busy. The kids are keeping me on my toes, even though they are not involved in any extra-curricular activities. Between birthdays and holidays, it's a little crazy.

Last weekend I had the opportunity to fly to my brothers house in VA to spend time with my family and yes, I actually went BY MYSELF! The first time in 7 years! It was fun, but a little tiring. I loved being an "aunt" for a change, and I got to hold my new nephew/Godchild. He is so sweet. What a great weekend I had!

The kids held their own and seemed to have some fun with just Dad. Off to the movies (to see "Bolt") and to the neighbors house across the street to make a Gingerbread house. I missed them and I think they missed me. It was good for all of us though.

Now to figure out Christmas. I will be a single parent again for several months in a few weeks so live it up, right?

All American Halloween

2008-11-03T11:50:00.002-05:00

Nope, no spooky creatures here, just my all-American crew. We had a great Halloween this year...Bethany and Ashley decided, of course, to dress up as Hannah Montana. Might as well, since this is her last season on the show! Nicholas, of course, a baseball player. The decision was tough for him because he wasn't sure what he wanted to dress up as until 2 nights before. It was between Spider Man, Red Sox player, Phillies player (mainly because he played for the Phillies last spring and since they won the World Series...) or a Spider. I was routing for the spider because I really wanted to make him a costume...but he chose a Red Sox player. Of the 6 Halloweens he has participated in, 4 have been a sports figure of some sort...go figure. Then, of course, Holly had to be Tinkerbell. The new movie came out on Tuesday and David brought it home for her and we had an impromptu movie night in the middle of the week. What a GREAT movie...you have to see it! Anyway, it was a pleasant evening, not TOO cold, and the kids loaded up on candy. I'll have to upload their pumpkins tomorrow...they did a great job and I actually got to help with 3 kids school parties this year! I had a great time too.

Filling my pumpkin

2008-10-18T01:58:00.004-04:00

The kids had fall break this week...I know, not everyone is accustomed to that, but we have a week here. We went swimming at the YMCA twice, to the pumpkin patch and played around the neighborhood. A nice calm relaxing week for all of us. The kids and I went to our appointment with the counselor this week and she gave us a great analogy that I wanted to share because I think everyone needs to recognize this every once in a while...

She held out a pumpkin full of candy and told the kids that the pumpkin represented "you". The candy inside represented their feelings. Then she asked what would happen if she took the candy out and threw it at each of them, what would they do? They responded that they would turn away, hide, run away...she proceeded to tell them that this is what happens when you get angry or frustrated with someone and don't talk to them in a calm manner. You are throwing your anger and frustration at others and all they do is turn away or tune out.

Then she asked them how would they feel if she reached in, grabbed a handful and offered it to someone? They told her it would make the other people happy because they are sharing...right! She asked how it would make them feel...happy...right! So when you share your feelings in a nice way, it makes them happy and it makes you happy. She told them that the people that you love in your life will continuously refill your pumpkin with candy...feelings and it is your job to fill theirs...when you do, everyone is happier.

Finally, she asked them what would happen if she held the pumpkin close and didn't share any of the candy? They responded it would become rotten. She then explained that this is what happens when you hold your feelings inside and don't share them...they rot and make you sick and unhappy. You are not offering it to others and are not getting yours filled in return...everyone is unhappy.

I thought that was a really great analogy and all of them, including Holly, understood it. So don't hold onto your candy...give it away nicely and you will get some back in return!

Amazing Author

2008-10-09T23:15:00.003-04:00

Many years ago, one of my dearest friends gave me a book for my birthday. I read it start to finish without ever putting it down and loved every word of it. It was called "The Notebook" by Nicholas Sparks. I thought he was a new favorite author of mine, but amazingly, since then I have not read another. Message in a Bottle was released on film, The Notebook was made into a movie, and now Nights in Rodanthe has been released. I have never seen any of the movies because I didn't want to ruin the book...I like to read it before seeing the movie...and since I've not read any of the books... Well, I happen to have Nights in Rodanthe here at the house...given by another friend. So, I read it last weekend. Saturday night and Sunday night after the kids went to bed. I have to say...don't watch the movie...read the book! Just based on the trailer and movie reviews, they have changed so much of the story line in the movie that it is not the same story, in my opinion. But, there is a passage that I am going to write a little here that just makes me think that Nicholas Sparks crawled into my brain and wrote exactly how I feel about this whole situation...

(First, in the movie, apparently she is not yet divorced, but in the book she has been divorced about 3 years before this weekend happened...a big difference in my opinion).

"Two days ago, she couldn't have imagined this sort of thing happening to her. Nor could she have imagined that she'd be feeling this way about anyone, let alone someone she'd just met. Her life didn't allow for such things, not lately, anyway. It was easy to blame the kids or tell herself that her responsibilities didn't leave enough time for something like this, but that wasn't completely true. It also had to do with who she'd become in the aftermath of her divorce.

Yes, she felt betrayed and angry at Jack (her ex-husband); everyone could understand those things. But being left for someone else carried other implications, and as much as she tried not to dwell on them, there were times when she couldn't help it. Jack had rejected her, he'd rejected the life they had lived together; it was a devastating blow to her as a wife and mother, but also as a woman. Even if, as he'd claimed, he hadn't planned on falling in love with Linda and that it had just happened, it wasn't as if he simply rode the wave of emotions without making conscious decisions along the way. He had to have thought about what he was doing, he had to have considered the possibilities when he started spending time with Linda. And no matter how much he tried to soft-pedal what had happened, it was as if he'd told Adrienne (the main character)not only that Linda was better in every way, but that Adrienne wasn't even worth the time and effort it would take to fix whatever it was he thought was wrong with their relationship.

How was she supposed to react to that sort of total rejection? It was easy for others to say that it had nothing to do with her, that Jack was going through a midlife crisis, but it still had an effect on the person she thought she was."

While it doesn't portray the same exact type of scenario, the feelings and thoughts are so vivid and similar to mine that I couldn't describe it better myself.

On a lighter note

2008-10-06T12:11:00.001-04:00

I missed this on Sat, saw the video clip and laughed out loud. Whoever you are voting for, they did a great job! Enjoy

Good Grief

2008-10-05T16:10:00.004-04:00

I wouldn't say that I'm a subject matter expert on this subject, but I have a lot of experience from my nursing days. As a student nurse in my senior year of college, I had one day a week for classes (Monday) and the rest of the week was devoted to my mentor on whatever floor I was working. The first semester I worked on something called a palliative care floor. Basically, a floor where people were transferred to keep them comfortable while they died. I had many wonderful experiences on this floor, but it always affected me deeply when I sat with someone while they died, especially if I was the only other person in the room. I had one patient in particular that I had become very fond of. She was a young mother (actually about my age now) that had 3 small daughters. She had cancer and had received radiation to her brain and as a result was now blind. She asked the nurses one day to allow me to stay with her in the room the whole day because she had something very important she wanted to do and she couldn't ask her husband to do it. So I came in that day and proceeded to write for her. She wrote letters to each of her daughters to be given to them on the day they turned 16, graduated from high school, got married and had their first baby. It was one of the most difficult days of my life. I went home after hours of quietly crying, completely emotionally exhausted. When I got to my room, David had left a dozen yellow roses by my door with a note telling me how much he loved me and that he knew I had had a hard day. I knew that he was the man for me. I had known it before, but that day, I knew he would take care of me and I loved him so much more. That young mother died a week later.

My Mom was talking to me about something the other day and I have thought about it a lot since then. In the "olden" days, people were laid out in the family room/living room of a house after they died. The family was forced to see death, feel it and begin to grieve. It was inevitable, you had to begin your grief process because it was physically present in your life. People don't experience this in our country anymore. We have become weak because of that. There are people that "don't want to remember their loved ones in that way (the hospital)" so they don't come to visit them. Then when that loved one dies, they feel sad, but a lot of times, they don't immediately feel the loss/grief because they haven't been present for a lot of the dying process. They put off their grief and eventually it catches up to them and rears it ugly head in other forms...addictions, broken down relationships, alone-ness. They search for something to "fulfill" them because they are not fulfilled by their present life and try to find something to blame, or someone. Grief is not something you can put off...you must deal with it. You must look it in the eyes and take it head on, or it will take control of you in other ways. The only thing you can do when you are feeling it is to process it in the way that only you can, and look to God when you get to the bottom. You have no where else to look, but up. So you do and you will eventually find that fulfillment you were so desperately searching for, but if you never do, you end up living with regrets, living a life of distance...from others and God. You lose a part of you.

So I am looking up. I am looking to God to take care of me, for my fulfillment. I know it is the only way for me to get through this, and I hope others will learn from my example.

On a separate note, please keep my Mother-in-law, Charlotte, in your prayers. She is undergoing chemo and radiation treatments and is having a hard time with them. Thank you so much for your love and prayers.

Stalemate

2008-10-01T23:42:00.002-04:00

I know many of you are waiting to hear anything...sorry I have nothing to offer. Monday happened and nothing was resolved. David is back where he was when all this started (for a short time), so nothing will change for a couple of weeks. Thank you all for your prayers and concern, please keep doing what you are to help...we all still need the prayers. The kids and I are just going to stay a little low key while he is away. Hopefully I'll actually update you with pictures next post...thank you again for your prayers...you will never know the comfort I have knowing that so many are praying for us, I am so grateful. Have a peaceful week...

my bible study group

2008-09-25T09:32:00.003-04:00

Well, I am very pleased with the way this topic was discussed with this group of ladies. It makes me especially sad that I won't be able to complete this whole bible study with them because I think they are a wonderful group of people. Our topics discussed yesterday were tender, sensitive and very meaningful to me and I had to look away several times because tears were constantly creeping into our conversations. I felt like the speaker at the end was talking directly to me. She asked everyone to pray for those whose relationships were in turmoil, asking everyone to pray for the soldiers and their families that while they are deployed, there are no temptations from Satan and for the ones who have returned home, that they may find peace and strength through God. If only...

I was talking to my friend the last couple of days and she mentioned that our battalion is going to be offering a Financial Peace program again (Dave Ramsey). David and I took it a few years ago and it helped us tremendously with our financial situation, we actually got on the same page for a while. My friend said they were talking about how it would be nice if after the guys left a woman with whom it's worked, could lead a group of wives in the lessons. Although we are still working on it (or were), I think it would have been a great opportunity to help the families...it would have given them something to talk about since conversations are usually only about family and life here because they can't really share what's going on over there. Speaking of things to talk about while one's spouse is deployed, I have another friend who decided that because their conversations generally only revolved around their son, they were going to do an online bible study for couples. I wish I had had that forethought...it is a wonderful suggestion and I'm going to be sure to tell all my friends whose husbands are leaving to try to do something like this. It asks questions about your thoughts in your life that can deflect from the current situation, help you learn more about your spouse and provide a safe subject to discuss together. In fact, if any of you who read this blog know someone in the military and what to share with them the website (or you are part of the military family), please let them know because it contains a large variety of subjects and wonderful bible studies to do together. Because it is online, both of them can access it...the website is

http://www.christianitytoday.com/biblestudies or www.christianbiblestudies.com

We have 4 days left. It has been a tough week. We are all a little edgy and I just keep praying for strength, courage, and peace, for understanding, guidance and love...please keep us all in your prayers...Thank you.

Tomorrow...

2008-09-23T23:46:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow in my Bible study group we are going to be talking about divorce and marriage...the topic is I Corinthians 7. I am interested to see what my group is going to say because only my one friend who invited me to this group knows what is going on. I am struggling because there are people who say when you are born, God has a plan for you and you are just fulfilling his plan. If that is true and I am fulfilling his plan for me, why is this happening? If this was all supposed to happen, why does it say so many times in the bible that you should not divorce? Like I have said before, I don't believe this is God's plan. We have freedom of choice. We are given brains to think through situations, come to resolutions and make choices...good and bad. I don't really feel I have a choice in this. David has made my choice for me by saying what he has said, doing what he has done and not being willing to work things out. He has set that standard from the minute he stepped foot off the plane this redeployment. It has all happened so fast I think. It's been about 116 days since he got home. We were engaged longer than it has taken for us to do this. 116 days of roller coasters, tears, frustration, sadness, fear, anger, depression, denial, hurt, worry, sleeplessness, change. I still just don't understand what happened and why this is happening. One day he's talking to me like we used to, the next he can't even look at me or utter one word. One morning he comes in to wake me and asks me if I'm going to exercise, helps me come up with something to do, and the next he can't even say goodbye. Sometimes I look at him and see him as he was, and the next minute he looks completely different, distant, withdrawn, empty. He says the war hasn't done this to him. He says he has felt this way for a long time, he says I've never fulfilled him, but I look at pictures, hear about what he said to others about us in the past and look at our children and wonder...how could it have not affected him. So tomorrow, I will face a bunch of women on all ages in a bible study group and hear what they have to say with this secret nestled in my soul. It will be interesting...

One last...

2008-09-20T16:04:00.002-04:00

It's funny. When I was pregnant with Nicholas I knew it was going to be my last pregnancy. It was a very easy pregnancy for many reasons. One of the reasons was because we found out we were having a boy and for the first time, David was actually excited about the pregnancy. He was interested in feeling him move and taking care of me. I wasn't sick during the pregnancy and every day I woke up thinking this is the last time I will ever feel this feeling. I treasured every moment, every movement, every hiccup, every feeling. I loved being pregnant and I'm sure it showed. After Nicholas was born I was supposed to get my "tubes tied". They left the epidural in for 2 days for this reason. When the doctors at the military hospital decided they "didn't feel like doing it", they pulled the epidural and sent me home. They said I could have it done at my 6 week appointment. 6 weeks later, David was on an airplane to Iraq. Superbowl Sunday in fact. 2 1/2 months before the war started...but we knew what he was going for and we didn't know if he would be home. David called me on his birthday and told me he loved me and wouldn't say goodbye. I didn't hear from him for a long time after that...he was in the war. He came home a couple of times for short periods of time and then went back. In March of the following year he had a vasectomy...2 weeks later I found out I was four weeks pregnant. I was not prepared. I had sold all my baby clothes right after his surgery and all I could think about was, I can hardly handle 3 kids, especially with all his deployments, how am I going to care for 4? But, after I got over the shock, I started the whole process over again, this is the last time I'm 20 weeks pregnant. The last ultrasound, the last kick, the last...then after she was born, the last time I hold an infant of my own, etc. etc. It has continued to this day. I try to treasure all the moments with her and now with all of them because you never know. I find myself thinking the same thing in terms of my marriage with David now. This is the last...the last time we do this as a family, the last time...on one hand I'm fortunate to be able to do it because some people lose a loved one unexpectedly and don't treasure the last...on the other hand I will see him in the coming years and still question why don't you love me anymore? What did I ever do? or what didn't I do? Why wouldn't you try, I was willing, why weren't you? So, this will be the last week we are married. The last time we order Chinese take out as a family...one last time...I have prayed, I have begged, I have cried, God have I cried, and now I just take in these last moments. Unless something happens this week that is truly miraculous, inspiring, life changing, this will be the one last...

Formal affair

2008-09-18T13:17:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow is the formal. The last time I went to a group formal was literally 36 hours before Holly was born. I was having contractions that night and Aaron's family was there in rememberance of him. I remember thinking of Holly's name that night. Her name was going to be either Allison or Sabrina. (Allison was the name that Bethany and Ashley came up with because of "Allison Wonderland". They thought her last name was wonderland...I loved it because of that and because it's a cute name.) Anyway, I wore a pantsuit. 2 other very pregnant ladies were there and were supposed to wear pantsuits also and they both got dresses that day...traders. It was a fun night though. I remember I kept thinking, "I hope I don't get to go" because I was ready to have her...I'm glad I did though. Who knew it would be my last group formal. 4 years ago. It's been bittersweet seeing all the girls talking about their dresses this week (a lot of them take their children to the same preschool Holly goes to, so I'm aware, but not involved of the going's on in the battalion.) Now that I'm back to my "normal" weight and would love to go and feel confident in a dress again, I'll never go to another. Wow, so much to lose...it's stupid to feel that way, but the Army life was fun. It has been hard, but there have been so many fun things that we've been involved in and a part of. I'm going to miss the ceremonies probably the most. I always feel so proud of David at them...he has accomplished so much in his career, he has so much to be proud of. He had been an amazing leader, admired and respected by many. He has been on a great path of success in his military career. I've truly enjoyed watching him succeed time and time again. His kids had someone to honor, respect and be so proud of. Unfortunately, they probably won't see a lot of that anymore, and if they do, it won't mean as much because they won't be a part of it as much anymore. They won't suffer the long deployments as much because he won't be coming home to them, they won't see the wonderful ceremonies as often because they'll be living with me. They won't get out of school to see the amazing accomplishments because it will be a long traveling time...what changes. How sad.

My girlfriend sent me this link that seems to pertain a little to our situation...hit pause on the playlist at the bottom and listen...it's beautiful!

One Realization

2008-09-16T22:51:00.003-04:00

Today was a great day! My same brother of whom I spoke in my last post is a new father to another healthy baby boy! That's number 3 for them! He is beautiful. They are all doing great and his 3 year old big brother kissed him on the forehead before he left the hospital to go home and said, "I love you baby". What could be better than that?

So I was thinking today. In my whole entire family, my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, (I'm one of 6, my mom one of 5, my dad one of 3 with several cousins) there are 2 people who have gotten divorced. That's it. My Mom's sister (I don't even think I ever met her husband...Navy man, ironically) and my cousin in California. That's it (I think)! That is why I feel like I'm wearing a scarlet letter (even though I didn't do anything to deserve it) and why I feel so alienated. In David's family, his parents were both divorced before they married each other, his oldest sister is divorced and remarried, his brother is divorced, I don't know about his aunts and uncles because his mom is one of 14 and I don't really know much about his Dad's siblings if he had any (I think he did). The differences are amazing. Whether people have been devoted because it is the right thing to do, or because they have worked through their differences, they have for the most part, in my family, stayed together...followed God's plan/law. No wonder I feel like I'm a failure. BUT, as I was reading I Corinthians, Chapter 7, something else dawned on me. The BIBLE talks about divorce. These writings that are over 2000 years old talk about divorce! This is not something new, this is an age-old problem that people have been dealing with for literally thousands of years. This has become a huge problem since the 1960-1970's, but it is not a YOUNG problem. I am not the first, I will not be the last and I have a lot going for me that women before me never could have dreamed of. I am able to get a good job, that I love. I am able to support my children and see them grow up...I won't be there for everything, but because I will only need one job, I will be there for a lot! I am able to not only survive this, but thrive and be happy. God has a plan for me! I have become so much closer to God through all this than I have ever been in my life. That's one check for God! I am reading the bible every day, like I have never done before in my life. That's two checks for God! My family is amazing...they have supported me and loved me and guided me and given me hope and strength through all of this and I'm sure will continue to do so. What an amazing gift! My friends have risen to the challenge to support me through all of this and have offered more love, guidance and compassion than I could ever dream of. They say you find out who your friends are in times like these and boy do I have some AMAZING friends. What a life I have! How could I fail? With God, my family and all my friends I have the best I could ever ask for! Thank you all for your prayers, love and support...without it I could not have gotten through this, and although it is not over, I realize...truly realize that I am getting the best part of this whole deal. I may not have a husband, but I have a terrific group of people that I love, who love me back, and I have an AWESOME God! So, thank you!

Perspective

2008-09-11T23:52:00.003-04:00

Well, yesterday I called to confirm next Thursday's appointment and it was never confirmed...so, no appointment next week. Our new appt. is for 29 September. So, a new date to dread. Today I had 2 kids home sick...fevers and hoarseness, coughs and sore throats. BUT, we had tickets to see Disney on Ice, so...we dragged them. (I'm sure the people around us will unknowingly thank me for that, but I wanted the kids to go and have something fun to think about). We all went. Again, probably our last family outing. David has been giving me the silent treatment the last couple of days and tonight was no exception. I guess it's better than telling me I'm fat and ugly and will never have another man love me...but still, the kids noticed the absence of chit-chat. They didn't even try. So, we got there and the 3 girls sat around/on me and there was a space and Nicholas sat next to his buddy. I think they all enjoyed it. Ashley and Holly were half asleep until Tinkerbell and the new fairies came on...Holly was the perfect 3 year old after that. Clapping at the right moments, waving every time Tinkerbell waved and smiling from ear to ear despite her fever. I loved holding her and watching her amazement. Such innocence. Unfortunately, I looked over and Nicholas was crying due to something David did, not once but twice. I think it was meant to be a tickle that was too hard, but he was mad. At the end, Nicholas just wanted to walk next to me and hold my hand. They all fell asleep in the car and we listened to music...country, of course, which isn't probably the best music to listen to in our situation. On the way it was all breaking up music, on the way home it was all music about being a good husband and father...maybe it made him think...I doubt it. I just silently cried. I think sometimes this is never going to end...and still we push on...I'm sure eventually the hurt will fade...but I don't think that's going to happen for a while.

Funny, I was reading I Corinthians 1:24-31 and realized that he is making himself strong to live a long life...but the Bible says "God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong"...foolish to shame the wise...and realized that he thinks he is strong and wise regarding these matters, when in fact he is truly weak and foolish because he has lost perspective.

Speaking of perspective, many of you may not know that my brother worked at the Pentagon when it was struck by the plane on 9/11. His office was burned out due to the flames from the plane, and he was in it when it hit! I called him today to tell him I love him and I was thinking of him and he told me he has a frame on his current desk that says something to the effect of "don't lose perspective" or "keep your perspective". When he opens it there is a picture of his wife and 2 children on one side and a picture of his office after the plane hit on the other. I told the kids about that day tonight in the car on the way to the show and told them about his picture. David obviously heard to. These are the things I think about...and how could he have lost his perspective? Like I said, he is working out to live a long, healthy life for what? For who? He has lost his focus and is pushing away his family. Where is his perspective?

Just sad...

2008-09-08T14:14:00.002-04:00

We had a quiet weekend, dealing with another virus. School must be in session, seems we attract every bug possible. Oh course, with stress levels as they are, it only makes sense that we catch everything...one by one, or two by two at the case may be. He was gone all day each day which made things much more relaxing. The kids keep asking me why this is happening, Ashley says often, "I feel like this is a dream and I hope I wake up from it." Holly says, "Daddy doesn't love you but he loves me." Amazing how a 3 year old can innocently say something that just cuts to the core. We had another family counseling session on Saturday. The kids didn't want to go because they say it's boring and they don't always want to answer the questions. I'm sure it's hard. It's hard for me just to keep from crying the whole time sometimes. Every time I think about next Thursday, I'm just overwhelmed with sadness and tears well up. I can't help myself. I picked up Holly from school today and she asked me if I was happy. I told her I was happy to be with her...and she said, "but are you happy?" I didn't know what she was trying to say. I simply answered I'm happy to be with her. I'm sad to think that when my kids are sick I won't be able to stay home with them and help them feel better. I won't be able to be at all their events because work will get in the way, David won't be able to see most of their lives except for what they are like when on "vacation" with him. He won't know their norm...and I will know it less and less. I still hate this. I'm anxious to see what happens next week, but I totally dread what will come of it. I dread the uncertainty of it all and the finality it suggests.

Two week notice

2008-09-04T15:55:00.004-04:00

Today it is two weeks until mediation. Two weeks until we are possibly no longer husband and wife. This is my "two week notice". Hard to believe. All these years, all this time and we have 2 weeks left. We had a bad Labor Day...awful things were said (mostly by him) and in front of the kids. Bad examples were set and everyone cried. I had one chaplain e-mail me to tell me he was praying for us and said that the Bible says to love another as yourself. If he is treating us all this way, how, then must he feel about himself? If he is being so hateful toward us, is he loathing himself? I pray every day for him...sometimes, many times... that he will find peace. He seems tormented and alone. I think that is why he waivers so often. He regrets things he has said and done and takes one small step to improve the situation, without offering too much hope of resolution. I want to hate him, and at moments I do, but I can't stop loving him. He is etched into my soul...we have had a life together, we have 4 kids together, we have been through so much and now this. I have a hard time believing that this is God's plan because I don't think God would want us to do this. I have a hard time with my faith because I know this is wrong, yet I can't really stop it. I can't keep exposing my kids and myself to the emotional stress that he is creating, but I still can't accept that this is what should happen. So two weeks is what I have left. Please God let them be filled with more peace than hate, more kind words than hurtful, more good times than bad and more love. If he can't change now, at least make him be nice.

Preparation

2008-08-31T18:35:00.002-04:00

Today was a hard day. I took Bethany to Walmart to get a few things for her science project and while I was gone, David decided to move all of his things out of our room/closet into what used to be Nicholas' room. He has been sleeping in there for several weeks, but still coming into our room to change (of course while I was not there.) Well, he decided he didn't like living between two rooms and officially "moved out". It's one thing to say it's going to happen, but each weekend there are new steps taken that reinforce the idea that we are separating and he is going on without me. I just watched and as I watched my heart felt heavier and heavier and I just had to leave the room and cry it out. I still can not understand why this is happening, what happened that makes him want to leave me and what am I going to do without him. My whole life has centered around him for 15 years...and now...

Progress

2008-08-26T00:07:00.002-04:00

Well, I have 4 CEU's left (continuing education units) before my Ohio Nursing License is eligible for re-activation. Amazing. Today I started to think about the hiring process...forget about the fact that I haven't been gainfully employed for nearly 7 years, how do you write a resume that will sound appealing to a hospital or employment agency? Wow...all these things you forget about in the comfort of your stay-at-home lifestyle now ever present and daunting. I used to have a pretty good resume. I thought my resume writing abilities were great and it was a very easy process, but what do you write about when you haven't done anything "professional" in a long time. Sure I have some experience with the FRG, but I have been taking care of little ones and attending to their every need for 10 years now. I've lost a lot of what made me a good nurse simply because the opportunities didn't present themselves. My brain cells have been fried, or lost due to multiple pregnancies and my ability to complete sentences and thoughts for that matter has all but vanished also. When I sit down to interview with my perspective employer, what do I say? I'm desparate for a position because I have 4 babies at home and my husband decided he didn't want to be responsible anymore? I beg you to give me a position because I don't have enough money to provide for my children...what a demeaning position he has left me in...forget about the fact that he isn't taking care of us, forget about the fact that he isn't "in love" with me anymore, now I'm reduced to this. I truly hope when the time comes, I have better answers and can complete sentences that are reasonable and intelligent. At least I'll have the refresher course from a well-known University on my resume to make it look like I'm trying...Don't get me wrong, I love nursing and in some sort of sick way, I'm looking forward to getting paid for caring for people. It was very fulfilling and rewarding for me. I don't know how it's changed, but I hope that aspect is still present. I'm afraid I'm going to have to settle for a position just to get my foot back in the door, but I guess I'll do my time again. Seems I always end up doing time, but at least this will be MY time, MY life, MY new beginning.

Out of Body Experience

2008-08-21T22:48:00.003-04:00

Tonight was the elementary school Open House. Normally, this is a fun night. The kids are excited for me to meet their teachers, see their new classroom and soak in the atmosphere in which they will be enveloped for the next 10 months; but tonight was different. The girls were very low key, hesitant and cautious. We visited Bethany's teachers first and each of them approached me with "that look". You know..."you poor thing" but didn't say anything about what is happening. I thanked them for their patience and understanding of the situation without actually saying the "D" word because it is still hard for me to utter out loud. As I walked down the hall toward Ashley's room I ran into several of the neighborhood families with bright smiles on their faces eagerly ready to meet their children's new teachers and watched the expressions immediately change to that of sympathy watching me with my four sedate children walking through the halls. I felt like I was floating through the halls, emotion drained from my body. When we finally approached Ashley's room, I used all of my energy to keep from crying before entering the classroom. Ashley's teacher cautiously approached me and began to tell me that my wonderfully bright, loving and well-behaved child was none of these at school this year. Forgetting homework, misbehaving in class and essentially crying out for attention because of all the anger and sorrow she is feeling. What is he doing to our family? Does he have any idea how this is truly affecting them? I left her room feeling like I'm failing her...all of them. We progress to Nicholas' room and immediately see the family of one of Ashley's friends whom we haven't seen all summer. She comes up to me and gives me a hug and says, "I bet you are loving having your husband home!" The dam breaks...I can't hide it anymore. I explain to her what our summer has been like and she just looks at me in shock. It is all so overwhelming. We finally get into his classroom and see all the wonderful projects he has done and visit the areas of his classroom he enjoys the most and I need to get out of there. His first year of school is clouded by this tremendous life-changing event that has consumed our lives. What an awful way to start. They all want to take me to see their gym teacher, Mr. Hill. He is wonderful...recently married to Bethany's 4th grade teacher and such a wonderful male role model for the school. He tells me how great my children are and how great a job I am doing with them. He loves having all of them in class and especially loves Nicholas' enthusiasm and good behavior. He looks at me with sad eyes that tell me he's so sorry for our circumstances and again, I have to look away for fear he'll see the tears welling up in my eyes. It is not supposed to be this emotional to go to an open house, but the uncertainty of how long we will be here and the sadness for the attachment we've all made to this school in the short time we've been here is again overwhelming. Our final stop...the guidance counselor. Ms. Debbie has been helping the kids since day 1 of school. She has been a Godsend and immediately hugs me and doesn't let go...I can't stop crying now. She sits and talks with me for 1/2 hour while the kids play in her office. She tells me there are 3 other families already this school year going through the same thing...all military, all returned home from deployments this summer. She remembers the excitement the children had with anticipation of their Daddys arrival home from deployment at the end of the year, and now this beginning of the year dealing with this. She tries to convince me that I didn't fail, but I feel like I have failed my children. They will not have the same upbringing my parents gave me, his parents gave him. It will be instead, shuffling between homes, sometimes here, sometimes there, will he remarry, will I, will they have step families, what will he be there for, if anything, where will we live, who will be there for us when we get home from school? Nicholas' biggest fear is coming home to no one. Bethany's biggest concern is what her Daddy will be missing...games, dances, major events. Ashley is just so sad. Holly probably won't remember having him as a significant part of her everyday life. It is all so unfair. So stupid and for what? I just wake up somedays hoping that the nightmare is over and look over only to see that Holly is sleeping in my bed because Nicholas is sleeping in Holly's bed because David is sleeping in Nicholas' bed. I just wish I could fast forward 2 years and see how it will all turn out...I just have to tell myself that "I can do anything through God who strengthens me"...now if I could just believe it.

Season of firsts

2008-08-13T12:48:00.003-04:00

Another new first. Although he won't get to ride it every day for another week and a half, Nicholas got to ride the bus today. He was so excited he jumped out of bed at 6:30am, got dressed as quickly as possible and asked me to help him with his hair. He was completely ready by 7:30, lunch packed, breakfast eaten...waiting. Another 40 minutes had to pass before he could walk to the bus stop. It was a family affair...all of us (except Rudder) walked Nicholas to his first ride on the bus. He was so big...just said, "bye" and climbed on. He never looked back. It took a lot to choke back the tears and not let them see me cry. Fortunately, Bethany and Ashley were just as excited to have him, and the three of them sat in the same seat and waved to us as they left. What a bittersweet moment it was.

It's just you and me Holly...

Oh, Rudder update.

2008-08-12T15:42:00.002-04:00

I almost forgot. I discovered it isn't just liver failure, it's liver cancer and mesothelioma...another type of cancer. Amazingly though, his tummy is less distended and he is doing/feeling a little better. Maybe it's the extra love and TLC he's getting. I'm not hopeful for a long time, but I'm glad he's more comfortable. He's such a good boy...

First Day

2008-08-12T15:23:00.005-04:00

I can't believe my little boy is in Kindergarten. What an emotional day. It started out a lot differently than I thought. Nicholas has always LOVED school and I thought he would be so excited about starting Kindergarten. Well, to my surprise, he wasn't thrilled...and not because of the "normal" reasons. I went into his room to wake him and he didn't want to get up. I got all excited and talked about how great it was going to be and he told me he didn't want to go. What? Why? "because I'm not going to be teached today!" You see, the first day was only about an hour long and I went with him. He was quite upset that it wasn't going to be a "real" day of school...what a funny boy! So the first two weeks of school here the Kindergartener's only go one full day each week to allow for testing. Then they start every day on the 25th. This does not make him happy! I think once it gets going, everything will be fine for him...me on the other hand, I'm not so sure. I'm going to miss the constant hugs and kisses, the "you're the best, Mommy", the "I love you SOOO much" and the fun we have playing games and coloring. He's starting to "read" already and recognizes words. He loves for me to read to him and he loves to try to read his books to me. It will be an amazing year for all of us, but his success will be so wonderful to watch. He is so excited about school, and I'm excited for him. Here's to a wonderful year...where-ever we end up!
Little Man, Big School!

Love at first sight!

My Big Boy!

For the girls, it was a little of a rough start. The bus arrived 10 minutes early! Fortunately, it goes through our neighborhood and back out, so they got it on the way out! They reported that they LOVED their teachers (even though Bethany really wanted Mr. Holt, she's glad she didn't get him because he already gave out homework...yeah for her!) Ashley already proved how smart she is by knowing all her dulch words. I met her teacher last night and she already fell in love with Ashley.
Hopefully, it'll be good for a while!

When it rains, it pours...

2008-08-06T18:17:00.003-04:00

Well, my first baby, Rudder, our maltese dog, was diagnosed today with liver failure. It is only a matter of time (probably days) before I have to take him to be put down. Amidst all that is going on in our lives at the moment, my children and I have to face yet another loss. He is the best dog! I'm going to miss him SOOO much!!!

Change

2008-07-25T14:33:00.002-04:00

I haven't blogged in a while...my creativity has been on hold due to the numerous events and changes that have occurred in my life lately. I fear I won't be posting too many paper crafts for a while and I sit in doubt as to my path. I have, however, become closer to God and have relied on Him heavily as the calm in my life has suddenly and swiftly been disrupted. Our world is upside down and I have no idea where I/we will be one year from now or how I will manage to get there, but I know that whatever lies ahead will be led by my Heavenly Father. I have one simple request from whoever happens to read this. I ask that you pray for me, for my kids, for my husband and for his mother. We are all in the forest, dark and dreary, and we need to find the light to see our path. Please read Psalm 143 and know that I am there. So, if you read this, please pray that we will find the light and that it will lead us back to a place of peace.

Who's New to our Zoo

2008-05-21T02:28:00.004-04:00

So, I got this call from my brother asking me to make a very special card. You see, they were going for an ultrasound for their new baby and he wants to know what the baby is, but she doesn't. So, to solve the problem temporarily, they asked me to make a card that could be filled out by the technician and put in an envelope and sealed. That way, if they decided to find out before the baby was born, they still could...in a fun and cute sort of way. So this is the card I came up with. You'll see that the inside has a pull tab. The instructions for the technician were to either initial the center of the circle or make a check. (One side says, "It's a girl" the other "It's a boy") If the tech wanted to write a note, he/she could do so on the yellow part of the tab holder. Clear as mud? Anyway, it was a fun card to make for a very special occasion that will go into the new baby's scrapbook. I'm betting it's a girl...but I hope I kept it neutral enough if it's a boy! Maybe I should market this to OB/GYN's? What do you think? (Click on card to see full version)

Front:

Inside:

Inside with pull tab:

Another sampling

2008-04-25T01:08:00.006-04:00

OK, so I've been a little busy lately, but I finally got around to photographing a few of my recent creations. I haven't been able to do as much as I would like, but these are a few of the new ones. Enjoy!

Dahlia Birthday...A folding technique I learned from SCC. Just look up dahlia fold or copy and paste this site. (One of these days I'll figure out how to hook the link right into this text...until then)http://www.cardsandcrafts.freeservers.com/dahlia.html

April Fool...my brother's birthday was on this day and I thought I'd try out a new stamp of the month stamp set (CTMH...August) (Click on it to see full version)

Celebrate Dress...I love this so much I made 2 cards...

Zoo friends...our neighbor who's 3 LOVES all things animals, so I couldn't resist making this one...the words are from the CTMH SOM for July, but I liked the filled in animals from one of our older sets. (She received Elephun and a Giraffe umbrella from us and loves them both!)

This was her birthday cake created by her Mom who's never taken a cake decorating class...amazing! (To see full version, click on picture)

My parents are coming tomorrow to help me around the house and give me a much-needed break from ALL of it...Thank God for parents, right? I'm so ready just to have another set of adult hands in the house...let alone 2 sets! Ball has been so challenging lately...and between strep, some annoying persistant cough that's infected most of us and now Fifths disease, I'm ready for a vacation! I guess it could be worse, but I don't want to know what that would be like! I'll settle for this.

The countdown

2008-04-11T00:25:00.002-04:00

We have officially begun the countdown. The kids are excited and I think I'm already packing my bags for the vacation I need! HA! Soon we'll be complete again!

Softball and t-ball are really amazing. Bethany is becoming somewhat of a power hitter and really learning to make contact with the ball well. Ashley is a great short-stop/second baseman, fielding and throwing well. Nicholas is just a good little 5 year old...he hussles well, hits well and is so excited to be on the field everytime he gets the chance. He has the biggest smile on his face and trys so hard. Holly is the best cheerleader too! Maybe I've started something! She's a trooper going to all these practices and games and hanging in there. They are really great kids. (most of the time :)

My family is trying something new too! Since we are almost all overweight, (those over 30 at least) we've decided to try to have our own biggest loser competition and lose weight for the little one's wedding...(the only one NOT over 30). We all put $50 in a pot and the weigh in is at the wedding. We'll see how it goes. So far, my sister is doing great with a 12 lb weight loss. I'm really proud of her. I've only lost 4...but it's a start. I can't wait to see how we all do. It's something we needed and this is the perfect stimulus to do it! Besides, the new in-laws family are all skinny people so we can't look like the fat vs the skinny, right? I'm very proud of all my brothers and sisters and parents for taking on this challenge. Coming from the medical field (somewhere in my past) it makes my heart happy! David has lost 10 lbs lately...maybe I need to do what he's doing...nah...

School is almost out for the kids...only about 5-6 weeks...time has flown lately. I'm sure having something to do almost every night has something to do with that though.

Well, lots of birthday's this month...today is one of our best long-time friends...and it was so good to talk to him tonight. Happy Birthday Brey! We have so many blessings to be thankful for...and he is one of them.

Getting used to it

2008-03-29T17:50:00.002-04:00

Wow, it's been a little while since I've posted...things are very busy in our lives right now...with the start of baseball and softball, I'm not sure where I'm going half the time. We just finished a day FULL of ball and it rained most of it. Bethany came back to the car after a practice in the rain and said, "That was AWESOME"! Not something I would have expressed, but I guess I'm just old now. Ashley only had to play a little in the rain and her coach called it quits. What started out as a full day, actually ended as a part day. All practices ended at least 30 minutes early and the scrimmage was called off tonight (Thank God) 7-9pm is a very late game for all of us to endure, especially after practice from 10-12, 1-3, 3-5! WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO???

Creativity has been flowing...in my mind, just not with scissors and paper. I've managed to make a couple of things, but needed to get them out in a hurry...SOOOO no posting yet.

Looks like it's going to be a GREAT, FAST spring!

A few cards

2008-03-14T17:30:00.002-04:00

We've created a few cards this week...by we, I mean Bethany has started her own creative enterprise. This first one is for Daddy. With the guidance of CTMH Originals card designs, she made this card. She chose the color combination Breeze, orange and clover meadow (CTMH) (something I don't think I would have even put together, but it looks GREAT!) and asked to play with my newest toy...the cuttlebug, of course. (I found it cheap at Creative Express.) She stamped it (CTMH Birthday bash, and Papertrey's Mixed Messages) and assembled. Great job...

The second one was inspired by Nicole Heady's blog...simple but pretty! I used the stamp set Star Struck by CTMH.

The last was a sympathy card for a friend of our family who lost her dad. Sweet Flowers Stamp set was used...one of my all-time favorites. I used a cuttlebug embossing folder and Anna Griffin papers. Also it uses Papertrey's Out on a limb stamp set for the greeting. The purples didn't turn out well in the picture, but in person they actually all match.

Snow in March!

2008-03-08T00:32:00.002-05:00

Well, we are supposed to get 5-6 inches of the white stuff today/tonight. That is big news in Tennessee! So, guess what we are doing tomorrow? We are sorting and preparing pictures to scrapbook...yeah! I'm excited because I'm behind on my goal, and my scrapbooks and I'm ready to get some things done! The kids are anxious to get their creative juices flowing also, so we are going to come up with something for them as well. So keep a look out for some layouts on Sunday/Monday. Hopefully we'll get something accomplished. We've had a bout of the stomach flu again this week and it seems to be the one thing I can't avoid getting. Generally, I don't get sick with what the kids have, but I can't seem to avoid that one. I'm feeling better, most of the kids are feeling better...we are ready! So check back early in the week and hopefully I'll have something to show off...

crazy times

2008-03-04T21:58:00.003-05:00

Isn't it amazing how fast time goes sometimes, and how slow it goes other times? Well, I have a mixture of both going on right now if you can grasp that. On one hand I know the next 3 months are going to go so slow. But at the end of the day, I don't know what happened to my time, or how I somehow skipped over hours of the day. It seems when the kids get home, the next thing I know it's after their bedtime and I'm rushing to read stories and tuck everyone in bed. Then I crash on the couch and don't want to get up until morning. So much for doing all these wonderful things after the kids go to bed. I have made a few new cards, but I have to photograph them and upload them. Maybe sometime this week it will happen between laundry etc...

This morning when we woke up it was cooler than yesterday and drizzling, but not horrible. Tonight when we got home from girl scouts it was snowing again. 2 days ago it was 70 degrees and we were outside playing ball...strange weather lately. The kids have gone from playing in the snow a week ago tomorrow, to playing ball in shorts, to freezing again and hoping for another snow day. I doubt it will happen, but you never know. If it does at least they'll have extra oppotunity to get their chores done! Hee,hee. The chart is still working pretty well and we are into week 2. That's another thing I'd like to decorate! Ahh, well.

Various Birthday cards

2008-02-27T19:44:00.004-05:00

I have this deal worked out with my sister...as her gift, I send all our relatives a card from her, that I made. I have to hone my skills more, but with each card I make, I hopefully will become better. I did this for her last year and am repeating this year. These are a few of the cards I've made, some simple, some more involved. Most contain CTMH materials, of course! Sorry about the picture size on some of them...photobucket has problems with resizing...just click on the picture for a full view! Thanks

For my brother in the Marines...like the red stripe!

For my sister-in-law: Birthday wishes

Another for my sister-in-law: For you

For my husband: inside says "Missing U"

For my sister: inside says "Because you are in it"

For my brother: inside says "May all your birthday fishes come true"

Another for my brother: Celebrate

For my husband...we love to have a nice warm cup of coffee at night...

inside:

A tisket, a tasket

2008-02-27T19:32:00.004-05:00

a cute paper basket! I made this using CTMH beautiful 2 toned textured cardstock. The outside of the basket is actually the lighter side of NEI. It was fun and didn't take as long as I thought it would. Not bad for a first try? Anyway, you can find the tutorial here http://www.wishyouwerehere-laura.blogspot.com/2008/02/basket-tutorial.html

What do you think?

Chores

2008-02-24T14:18:00.002-05:00

Well, the kids have been crazy this week and in order to wrangle them I've decided to change the whole way we do things. I have made up a new chore chart...yet to be decorated, but started nontheless. The kids have drawn chores that need to be finished by Sat at bedtime. Some of them are fun, many are "normal". Then I set up a rewards system called "You've been caught". When someone sees another doing something nice or helpful, they tell me and they choose a reward from the jar. Whoever has the most rewards at the end of the week receives a dollar. If all chores are done each receives a dollar. Hopefully this will create a happier and more loving environment.

I've actually gotten a few cards made this week and will be posting when I get them downloaded. I've also started to sort through older photos to scrapbook...it's going to be a good week!

Creative funk

2008-02-18T23:52:00.002-05:00

I wish I had something to post on here, but life has gotten in the way lately. I hope things slow down a little so I can have a little fun...hopefully tomorrow I'll post a few more things I've made. I have a few birthdays coming up...need to make a few cards. Check back soon.

Just like Mommy

2008-02-11T01:52:00.000-05:00

I have to add this because it is one of life's sweet moments...our youngest decided it was time to play in Mommy's makeup...fortunately I caught her with only my mascara out of the drawer. Whew! I couldn't pass up the opportunity to take a picture though...

Is procrastination inherited?

2008-02-11T01:27:00.000-05:00

I have to wonder...how do you teach a child NOT to procrastinate? Is that a learned trait...do they inherit it? Our oldest had 4 weeks to do a science project...something she has never done before. It was a debate between to things but after talking with my sister, we decided to try one her cousin did, but more basic. Dyeing cotton with foods. It was fun, but the process of completing the project...well, I can only imagine what it will be like when I have 4 in school with these kinds of things. My goodness...well...here is the final project. She did most of it, I just helped with the typing and gluing. Needless to say this was my scrapbooking time.

A Fresh Start

2008-02-09T11:23:00.000-05:00

Welcome! I've decided to start this to try to chronicle my life so I can remember what really happens! Maybe this will be easier than journaling in a book because I can type faster and inevitably I'm on the computer every day. Hopefully I'll be able to display some of my creations and keep people updated regarding my beautiful growing family. Thanks for visiting!